Please note: Written thru tears.. is an attempt to share an experience that totally transformed my life, as well as those of my beloved furkids now. The emotions expressed are as I felt them .. passing thru this experience. I have come to recognize. .that altho Echo's passing was 'traumatic' @ the time.. I have learned and grown in a spiritual way. .that I never dreamed possible.
A day by day, hour by hour account
January 1, 1996
Echo is due to deliver her fourth litter of puppies. She has had 3 other very normal, easy deliveries, over the years, and of those.. Tiara,her daughter still lives here with Echo's mother Megan, who is now 12 years old, and I, the 'human' mom.
Coming home from a 12 hour shift at the hospital I find Echo is in 'early labor' and Megan her mom ..is vomiting all over the living room....
January 1, going into and including January 2 ,1996
Echo's labor progresses thru the night, however.. by 10PM.. I am beginning to see signs of distress, so call my vet. I am told not to panic.. that she will be ok... early AM 2:30 or so.. Echo is having some black discharge another call to the vet, who refuses to see her.. til morning... by 5 AM. .I have had enough!...
Bypassing the on call vet, I call my regular vet @ home. He says he will meet me@the clinic...and indeed Echo will this time..require a c-section if she and/or the babies are to survive.
The first baby is found to have been passed on.. already for some time before this event....this being the reason that the puppies would not deliver naturally. The next two puppies are males..and are delivered alive. Then another Angel is born.. already finished it's career here in this world. Last was another tiny tiny dark male..he was alive..but barely.
I bring Echo and the babies home... with the help of a friend who meets me at the clinic.. we attempt to get the babies settled... c-section babies are always sooo difficult... they are wobbly, don't know how to nurse well, and full of excess fluid normally drained by the natural birthing process.
Megan is still ill.. vomiting off and on.. . I try to feed her hamburger and rice.. but she is unable to eat.. I am torn between a need to be with Echo and the babies and a need to care for my beloved Megan.
That evening another Friend comes over to hopefully give me some rest by taking care of Echo and the babies.. I try to sleep with Megan in the other room..
January 3rd, 1996
Megan is restless...and in obvious pain...she continues to vomit off and on through the night..I just assume it is an upset stomach. By morning I can tell.. that Megan is nearing her final journey, to what I now know is Rainbow Bridge.
I had always wanted Megan to make her journey from our home.... not some sterile clinic, and by all appearances that is about to happen. I call the vet again around 10:30 asking if there is anything more I can do.. to make her comfortable... and since Echo and the babies.. really cannot be left alone, turn down their offer to bring Megan to the Clinic, since there is little that they can do for her at this point anyway. Arrangements are made for The Vet to visit our home around 5 PM to help Megan take those last steps.
Another half hour has past... it is obvious that Megan is slipping from me faster. I call another friend to come look after Echo and make sure the babies are nursing. At no time during all of this did I suspect or see any symptoms that Echo was in any harm. My friend arrives, I lie down on the daybed.. with Megan on top of me.. and begin stroking her. Drifting off into a restless sleep.. I stop the stroking.. Megan lets me know.. that she needs me to continue stroking her. Each time I stop... Megan raises her head as if to say.. Don't stop, 'Mommy, don't stop'....we continue to lie there for about an hour and a half.. it is now 1:15PM.. my friend asks for my assistance with Echo and the babies.. and she will watch Megan, and if there is any change she will let me know. I go into the puppy room, settle the puppies for a few minutes.. lie down again, and in 15 minutes, my friend is calling me.. Megan's final steps draw near.
January 3, 1:45PM
Megan begins to breath erratically, and within minutes breathes her last and gone, my hand beneath her head... I whisper last goodbyes, and hold her...talking softly to her...My heart is aching, my first beloved friend and beautiful show dog has moved on to another world...her journey here has ended. What I have not realized at this time is.. she is gone, to be at Heaven's gate to greet her daughter who will follow her on that journey on January 8th, 1996, just 5 days later.
January 3, About 4PM
The friend who had been with me to help bring Echo and the puppies home from the clinic..comes back.. with a cardboard box.. for Megan......I gently wrap her in her blanket, and place her in the box. Since it is January and below zero, she can remain in the garage for at least a day or so until I have time to grasp that she is gone, and decide what I should do, as to her final arrangements.
I must now turn my attention to Echo and those babies....even tho I am hurting that my Megan is gone, I know that she is no longer in pain, and that is my solace.
January 4th,1996
Echo and the three babies seem to be holding their own.. tho the tiny dark one needs to be supplemented...I am feeding him every two hours.... the day is long and dreary..with the knowledge that I will never hold my Megan close again. My only solace is that now I know she is no longer in pain. And I know Echo and the babies need me.
January 5th, 1996
Echo and her babies are still appearing to be doing as well as can be expected, and the puppies are not losing any ground, but not gaining very rapidly either, and supplementing continues.
January 6th, 1996
This day is much like yesterday.....I am exhausted from lack of sleep and anxiety over the tiniest one..the puppies now have names ... I like to name my babies when they are very young, since I feel they develop their own identity easier....there is Allen, Austin, and .. the tiny dark one is Andy.
I have made a decision that since these are all males I will not be keeping any of them, and there are homes already waiting for them.I feel their lives will be full and they have their careers already planned.
This story has only begun graphics not prepared, so if somehow you stumble onto this page, please know that it is only the beginning.
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Created on August 22, 1998. All rights reserved by Candlochen, © copyright 1999-2007
Updated August 5, 2007
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